Spacing Your Family

Is there a ‘right’ number of years between children?

You’ve had your first child and would like another. How long to wait? Here are some perspectives from obstetrician/ gynecologist Rochelle Steiner-Friel, M.D., and pediatrician Tayyaba Jan, M.D., of Lehigh Valley Hospital and Health Network:

Wait at least six months. “It takes about three months for your body to recover from the iron loss typical in late pregnancy and childbirth,” Steiner-Friel says. “And studies show that babies conceived in the first six months have a higher risk for low birth weight and prematurity.” If you’re breastfeeding, nature will be on your side. By inhibiting ovulation, it acts as a form of natural (though not foolproof) birth control.

Researchers say three years is ideal. “By age 3, most children are potty-trained, able to feed themselves, sleeping on a schedule—in short, independent enough to leave mother free to care for the new baby,” Jan says.

But you have to consider your age… It’s not uncommon these days to focus on career first, baby later. “A woman who delays starting her family until age 35 may have to space her children close together, to complete her family while she’s still at a safe age to do so,” Steiner-Friel says.

…and your circumstances. Spacing is a bigger issue if you don’t have extended family or other “helping hands” to share baby and child care.

The choice is really up to you. “There is no downside to widely spaced children. The older siblings help care for the younger and there is less sibling rivalry,” Jan says. “But there are advantages to closely spaced children, too—more companionship, common interests. Just be sure you’re not so busy with little ones that you don’t have time for older siblings.”

The bottom line: It’s not how many children you have or how they’re spaced, Jan says. The quality of your parenting is what matters.

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